Naturist Events: Alton Sports Centre naturist evenings and Splashdown

(Originally written for my blog on 8/8/12, see addendum for updates!)

I have in the past been a member of British Naturism (http://www.bn.org.uk/index.php ) the main organisational body in the UK for naturists and nudists.  I no longer am.  This is not for any political or philosophical reason but because I am now a poor person. I am one of many people who managed to let their finances get out of hand and I am now dealing with it, dealing with it rather well in fact, see my main website or http://simplymintyblog.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/money-get-away-get-good-job-with-more.html for more details.  The reason I am getting my debts sorted out is because I’ve become very good at not spending money so for the last three years there have been very few excursions, no holidays and no BN membership.  There seemed little point in being a member if I can’t afford to do anything and going to the beach doesn’t cost any more than the petrol to get there.  I’d actually like to be a member again because it is generally easier to take part in organised naturist events if one is signed up.

Like many BN members I was perhaps guilty of not getting around to doing a lot of stuff I wanted to do or could not quite persuade t’mrs to drive to any of the events that were a little further away.  So, one day back in 2009 I took the plunge (financially)and ordered some tickets for our first nude event which was an evening at a leisure centre in Alton, Hants where I could take a nude plunge, literally.  The club would be open only to ticket holding naturists for that evening as a private hire and nude use of all the facilities including the pool and the sports courts.

It was just over 25 miles from our home to Alton leisure centre but most of this seemed to be down dark, narrow and twisty roads so it took a good 70 minutes for us to drive.  When we did reach our destination, however, we parked easily.  We had arrived a little early, having set out extra early in preparation for getting lost, so had to wait in reception for a few minutes before we could enter the venue itself.  At this point I was a little worried as everyone else waiting was a male over the age of 40, Becky being the only female present thus far apart for the lady checking the tickets (who I later recognised as Suzanne Piper, the editor of Naturist Life magazine).  Once let in we went in to the unisex changing rooms, undressed, took our towels and made our way to the pool area.  At this stage there were still an absence of female guests I started to feel very protective towards Becky, I am very proud to be seen with her, naked and clothed, and I don’t get jealous about her being seen by anyone else but I am also very keen to avoid any discomfort being caused to her.  So we both jumped in the pool and began to swim around together until, thankfully, some more women turned up.  I should make it clear that none of the male guests at any time behaved in anything less than a polite and appropriate manner!

Eventually ladies did make up around 35% of the guests and I relaxed a little.  I’m not a great swimmer by any means so was soon restless to explore the centre a little.  Though the centre had been hired privately not all the facilities were open.  As well as access to the pool we had access on the wet-side to the steam room but this was quite small and soon very full.  The sauna was out of action which was a shame as I’ve always wanted to try a nude sauna. On the dry-side there were trampolines and badminton but the table tennis had not been set up.  We had omitted to bring our badminton racquets; which was a disappointment, despite how bad I am at Badminton; and were not really up for any bouncing around so we contented ourselves with a nude walk around the centre.  I purchased a few back copies of Naturist Life from Suzanne (it felt not at all strange, buying a magazine whilst naked from somebody else who was also naked and was on the magazine cover, naked).  We had a drink and a snack in the coffee bar (towels are required for all sedentary moments) and then returned to the pool until the raffle was called.  My first ever nude raffle ended as most of my clothed ones do, without me winning anything, but it was fun to take part.  And this, overall, is what it was all about.  It can be fun just to be with naked people.  The inhibitions and the reserve are removed, the relief evident from the smiles all-round. 

Right, now for a bit of naturist name-dropping.  As well as Suzanne Piper the event was also attended by Cindy who I was aware of as the female winner of Naked Jungle, the one off nude game-show presented be a naked Keith Chegwin, along with her husband who was also a contestant.  Also present was Will Golden, who I did not know of back then but I have read from on various naturist forums since and spotted in attendance on the odd naturist TV documentary. 

We stayed at Alton for over two hours; the event is open for three hours and happens roughly monthly.  The thought of the journey home made us not stay until the end.  We both enjoyed the evening which was fairly quiet but not boring, we were among the youngest there but not the youngest.  At the time we both very much wanted to attend again, unfortunately financial matters took over at that point.  However, at only £10 per ticket (or £45 a year for all events) this is not by any means a pricey way of getting out and meeting other naturists.  For more details and news of when the next even is, follow this link:  http://naturist-life-magazine.co.uk/alton-leisure-centre/

Having already paid for tickets we did manage one more naturist event later that year when we attended Splashdown, an indoor nude event at the Splashdown Centre in Poole, Dorset.  The drive here took us around 90 minutes from Emsworth but parking was not easy, Splashdown is one of many different leisure facilities on the Tower Park complex along with bars, restaurants, cinema and bowling and being Saturday evening it was jam-packed.  We had to drive around repeatedly waiting for somebody else to leave; I really would suggest arriving early if there are any further events.  On the plus side, you could make a day of it; there would be no shortage of other things to do before the nude fun begins!  The event was organised both by BN and YBN, the young person part of the organisation and it was evident from the moment we arrived that there would be a much younger slant to the age range here; many young adults of both genders were in attendance as well as families.  At this time we were both in our late thirties, too old for YBN but still young enough to feel sometimes a little out of place at other naturist events and places.  Of course it is nice to see some young, attractive people enjoying themselves au natural but more pertinently, the fact that there are young naturists out there to take things forward, to stop organised naturism dying out.

Splashdown is a mostly indoor water park, with all manner of water slides and chutes, spa pools et cetera but no actual swimming pool.  The only outdoor aspect of the park is a short walk to the stairs for one of the longer slides but still I enjoyed the walk from the main centre to the tower housing the top of the slide, feeling a light drizzle on our bodies was most refreshing.  The slides themselves ranged in the level of fear they induced in me from “exhilarating” (e.g. scared me quite a lot but I would do it again) to absolute blind terror, (literally I was shaking when I got out of the splash pool after).  I should here point out that I am a big cowardy-custard and that I do suffer from vertigo so hurtling down a dark tube was never going to be as fun for me as the next man, woman or child.  But I gave most of them a go!  If you are at all self-conscious about being socially nude, trying dropping down one of those things, you’ll soon forget you are naked.

Unfortunately for me, just a week before I’d had my head and eyebrows shaved for a Help-For-Heroes event in my local pub.  Coupled with the fact that I was carrying a little extra weight, this left me looking like a nude Fester Addams for the evening, which would have been a shame if I was at all vain!  (Yeah, right)  There was an official photographer in residence that night, (official from BN that is) but at the time I did not think to ask if we could get a photo taken so I have no souvenir form the occasion, which I do now regret.  The official picture that appeared in BN magazine after the vent did not feature us; I think it was taken at the beginning of the evening, while we were still trying to park!  Despite my slightly frightening appearance on the day I would very much like to have seen myself in BN so I was a little disappointed by this.

Like Alton, there was a coffee bar serving snacks and drinks which we partook in, and BN had a stand selling official items.  I naughtily broke out the credit card for one more purchase, getting us a set of official, bright orange BN towels (the beach towel is still my towel of choice) and was given a free jute bag to take them away in.  I have not made a purchase on credit since!

Again, we both enjoyed the evening immensely but this has to date been the last of our nude-social occasions.  For reasons of money (not having any) we have been restricted to the beach and for reasons of the weather (the general crapness of it) these visits have been somewhat limited.  I have worked hard to get what I do down to a much more manageable level despite the cost of living rising whilst my wages haven’t.  Which is why I feel a reward is due.

During the writing of this blog I’ve come to realise how much I enjoyed taking Becky to these events (well, she drove so really she took me but you know what I mean) and I decided the money I’d set aside for a cheap MP3 player for the journey would be better served by re-joining BN.  So I did.  I have completed an application along with uploading our photos for membership cards and paying, all online, whilst I’ve put this together.  I can’t see any evidence of another Splashdown this year, I do hope I’m wrong, but there are naturist evenings at Alton in September and October that I hope to be at.

See you there?

Addendum

In September we did re-join BN and we did go to another Alton evening, which was fun, apart from one stroppy man who complained bitterly about having to queue to sign in.  We were also looking at going to the BN event at Alton Towers but that was cancelled before we could afford tickets.  

Naturist 2: Eastney

Eastney is my favourite naturist beach as it is the nearest official beach to me.  I live just inside West Sussex on the South Coast of England so Eastney, near Southsea, near Portsmouth, is less than 15 miles away.  There is a nearer beach at Hayling Island but it isn’t official so I’ve always been a little reluctant to try that one, I’m not a naked crusader by any means.  I just want to get my kit off outdoors without being hassled by The Man.

You can read more about Eastney here: http://nuff.org.uk/factfile/content/view/75/48/

Which tells you about the beach in the sort of detail I can’t be doing with, though is a little out of date on the Qinetiq situation (more later).  I will concentrate more on what the beach is like for normal people, like you and me, obviously.

I write previously (or if you are reading this in scrolling order, later on) about Brighton beach and how there was a certain level of “sexifiedness” to that naturist location which was sometimes a bit much to ignore.  Though I am sure there are issues at every naturist location, anywhere; it only takes one loser to ruin the ambience; Eastney is for more relaxed than Brighton in that regard.  Generally the users of the beach are more varied in age and gender than Brighton and I have never seen any particular examples of lewdness at Eastney.  That’s not to say it doesn't happen, I’m sure it does, but not so often.  The view from Eastney is marvellous so long as one is looking out to sea.  The Isle Of Wight is visible to the naked person’s naked eye and to the left we have the Hayling Island, more like a peninsular these days but it breaks the Solent up nicely.  To the right is Southsea, and if you want a traditional seaside experience with fruit machines, chips and lots of clothed holiday makers, just walk around a mile and a half in that direction.

The water is “lovely once you’re in”, honestly, wade in to about waste height and then dunk yourself.  Very refreshing!  The beach is mainly shingle with just a few sand patches and probably around the same length as Brighton nude beach.  There is some concern about swimming because of local currents but I have always stayed at around shoulder height when the tide is in and never had any problems, though waves can be quite boisterous and be prepared for a mouthful of salt-water if, like me, you are just an adequate swimmer.  We have enjoyed on occasion swimming up the beach and then walking back to our towels, hand in hand, the sea water drying off our naked bodies in the sunshine.

I don’t think I've ever chatted on Brighton beach apart from with the people I’m with but I have several times had conversations with people on Eastney, usually more senior ladies and gentlemen, with an opening gambit of how cold the water is! Unfortunately I am terrible at remembering names so any of you who have spoken to me, I’m very sorry for not name-checking you!  We are former British Naturist members (next blog is on this subject) so if you've ever used Eastney you may know us by our bright orange BN towels and my upper arm tattoos.  

There is parking very near Eastney beach with a walkway from the car-park to the beach which passes a campsite, so if you are coming from outside of the area, bring a tent.  You can’t miss the walk-way; it’s down the side of the monstrously ugly former MOD building which pretty much spans the whole length of the nude section.  Until relatively recently it was a case of “just face south” but then the site of the building was bought by QinetiQ.  Or they already owned it and decided to redevelope…This site tells the story better than me: http://www.eastneybeach.org.uk/

In a nutshell though, QinetiQ (Boo! Hiss!) are a British multinational defence technology company who have tried to bully the public in general and naturists in particular in to not using the beach.  I’m still not completely up with all the facts but whatever their ideas for the site they presumably thought lots of naked people enjoying the sun and sea within sight was not compatible with their plans. At one point they even employed security guards to try and prevent people from accessing the beach but it transpired that their remit only covered the walkway along the top of the beach, not most of the beach itself.  Or so I understand.  What I can say is that they have NOT stopped people going on to the beach, naked or otherwise and have not had much sympathy from Portsmouth City Council. Please do read the Eastney Beach site, people more dedicated than I have put a lot of work both in to the site and to the campaign.

Sadly, due to bloody awful weather I have not been to Eastney this year yet and only managed a couple of visits last year.  The photos I have posted below are from an earlier visit, I seem to have mislaid more recent pictures.  I know for a fact I lost the Calvin Klein sunglasses I am wearing in the pictures around 5 years ago so it was before then!  Due to tightened financial circumstances going far further than Eastney is difficult, not made easier by the fact that I don’t drive so have to persuade Wifey to take us anywhere I want to go.  Much as she has been happy to get ‘em off in my company, she has less of an interest in the naturist “lifestyle” than I and my view of myself is that I am not a nude campaigner but the average geezer who likes to disport in the altogether and tells it how it is to the average geezer.  The end of the week is looking quite nice… see you there perhaps?  We will continue to use Eastney until we are told not to and everybody else does.  

Naturism 1: Brighton beach

1:  Brighton beach, East Sussex, England. (http://www.visitbrighton.com/things-to-do/brighton-naturist-beach-p628201)

My first naturist experience was here, around 15 years ago, and I went looking for it.  I wanted to try naturism and not having anyone to try it with took myself off to Brighton on the train and walked the considerable distance to the nude beach.  If you’ve never been to the Brighton beach, basically, come out of the station, walk in a straight line all the way down to the sea front and then turn left.  You will find you are not quite at the pier when you reach the seafront and you then have to walk probably around two miles to get to the beach.  You could save a little time by catching the Volks Railway (  http://www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/index.cfm?request=c298 ) that runs for around half a mile towards the Marina, always a charming distraction. It was a sweltering day and I was more than ready to strip off as soon as I go to the beach but having not done it before I was not sure, well, where to start. 

MY first impression was of some male nudists who seemed to have placed themselves as far to the edge of the beach as they possibly could.  These men were mahogany brown and clearly spent a lot of time naked in the sun.  I could only assume they were very keen to be seen and without wanting to appear homophobic, Brighton does have a very large and prominent gay community.  Perhaps this was a way of hooking up?  I don’t know.  Those men were not doing anything untoward so good for them.

I found a spot in the middle of the stretch of beach and laid out a towel.  I removed my sandals, which was a relief as they had been catching pebbles in them for the last kilometre, then my shirt.  I was “commando” that day so as I removed my shorts I was naked.  I looked around, nobody was watching.  Not the small groups of naked men at the back of the beach.  Not the naked middle aged lady about ten metres away from me.  I sat down on my towel, put on my sunglasses, and stared out to sea.

It was fairly early in the day and the beach was quite empty but soon, as lunchtime approached, the beach started to fill until there were around a hundred or so people on the nude stretch of the beach.  I would say around 75% were men either on their own or in groups, 15% male/female couples and 10% women in groups or on their own.  Ages varied but of the couples, most were over 50 and there in my late twenties I was possible the youngest person on that beach.  There were a couple of women, around the same age as me or a little older, sitting quite near me and both looked lovely in their naked form.  And here is the thing, yes I looked.  Yes I enjoyed.  No I did not get “aroused”.  That is a major fear for many men when going nude, what if Mr Floppy stands to attention?  Well, in most cases he doesn’t and I’m glad to say I passed the test.

I enjoyed the experience so much I returned the next day and got sunburn.  That first weekend was a bank holiday weekend and was scorching and both days the beach had at least 100 people on it.  Among the many naked people of all both genders and many ages I saw that weekend were a aged blind lady being helped down to the water and an elderly man with one leg.  I decided there and then I had no good reason to be embarrassed about my body. 

I have returned to Brighton numerous times, occasionally on my own, several times with my girlfriend (now wife) who went fully nude on her second visit.  I even went along once with a male friend whilst bunking off from a Union conference and he did actually swim naked though was too shy to stay nude out of the water.  The sea is usually pleasant and warm and the beach is a stone’s throw from Brighton Marina, where there are bars and restaurants one can nip off too when the sun gets too much.  There is parking available a few hundred metres away if one has a car… but I don’t drive and I quite like the walk. Most of my visits have been issue free (no pun intended) but Brighton is a fairly bohemian place which means that sometimes the beach has less than charming types in attendance.  A very small percentage of men think it is acceptable to tug on Percy in full view of everyone and I have on a couple of occasions seen heterosexual couples engaging in sexual activity. On one occasion I felt inclined to move because a loudly gay man seemed fixated on my penis (though it must be said, the groups of gay guys on the beach are generally very well behaved and clearly out to have harmless naked fun together). This has put a dampener on things and Brighton is not my preferred destination these days but if I am in the City I still like to pop down and get my kit off.

The Year Becomes A Woman

Listen – it is breathing, in the air it manifests

Sotto and in rhythm, between each beat it rests

The childish pop of spring and punk’s summer adolescence

Become a string adagio, harmonious in it’s presence

A requiem for August devoid of spite or gall

She is the gentle calm in the orchestra of the fall

Look – she is most radiant in her very imperfection

The fashion house of nature reveals autumns collection

Gone the frills and petticoats, the ribbons and the bows

Farewell bikini, sunglasses and varnished nails on toes

Natures sultry striptease, not naked but undressing

September offers just a glimpse, October keeps us guessing

You can feel her breathing as the breeze that’s in your hair

The warmth and her gelidity do battle in the air

In motherhood resplendent, she kneels – her head is bowed

In deference to winter, she is knowing but not proud

Though spring was far too flighty and summer lived too fast

The year has grown to adulthood and is a woman now at last

Remnants

We walk across the dale and hill

We stand and stare at remnants still

We turn to search each other’s eyes

Yours turn away towards the skies

Your eyes aren’t dull; they’re so like mine

And from your eyes those remnants shine

We stood and stared until we cried

Our hearts still know we never tried

We walk away with eyes so sore

But those remnants stand forevermore

They stand alone and stand so still

As we ascend another hill

Darren James Green

Pineapple

Then something moaned, contentedly in passion

With mile wide, dynamite, banana–face expression

Sat wholly integrated with some foul sobriety

Completely removed from his melting pornography

He talked off his hair and brown crunching leafs

Fell silently through tall, blonde Christmas trees

A huge grin appeared as he said with contempt

Stroking the flies with the holes in his head

“Have you ever thought…” and everything broke

Something always happened when Pineapple spoke

Often so vile that sought to assure

Smelled alcoholic, of red mouthed allure

Diana had fled, her persona misplaced

The slim, streaky guy fell back over, too spaced

Into six million feelings of merciless angst

Into something so soft that stole all his thanks